PRACTISING CHRISTIANITY IN MARRIAGE
3 months ago Evangelical Ministry 0
Christian marriage is the union of baptised Christians for the purpose of giving and receiving love for procreation and companionship. It’s a godly relationship between a man and a woman who unanimously gave their consent.
KINDS OF THE RELATIONSHIP
COVENANT AND CONTRACT RELATIONSHIP:
Contract relationship is established by the law between people. They are legally bound and the relationship only exists so long it is still beneficial. Once the advantage gotten from it is gone, it collapses.
Covenant relationship is sealed by an oath before God. Here, love is unconditional and the relationship does not exist for the gain. Every party plays a part to make it profitable. The christian marriage falls under covenant.
The foundation of the christian marriage is Christ (Cf. 1 Cor 3:17).
Different materials are used in building the foundation of the christian marriage. Some of these materials include character, patience, and love. This foundation with which we have built our marriage will be tested, hence, we must be strong to withstand these tests.
BASIC THINGS TO UNDERSTAND ABOUT THE CHRISTIAN MARRIAGE
1. There is no ideal or perfect marriage.
An ideal system requires work. To make an ideal marriage, you must be ready to change certain things to make the marriage work. Marriage is a team work, hence you must work together to get it going.
Sometimes we try to apply certain principles in our marriage and find that it does not work. Not necessarily because the principles are wrong, but because the conditions are not working.
2. Marriage relationship is not a relationship of equality (Eph 5:21-33, Rom 10:12, Gal 3:26-28, 1 cor 11:3, 1 pet 3:1)
Man is the head. The wife should submit to the man (Cf. Gen 3:16).
In creating the woman, God didn’t pick from the feet because He doesn’t want the man to dominate the woman, nor did He pick from the head because He doesn’t want the wife to dominate the man. But chose from the side because He wants the woman to be by the side helping the man.
Submission is a tool for bringing the unbelieving husband to conversion (Cf. 1 Pet 3:1).
The man should understand that love is not a condition for submission, however, there is no gain saying that submission makes loving much easier for the man.
3. The duty of the husband is to have authority, leadership and love for his wife (Eph 5:25).
The love a man shows his wife is not dependent on her character. Loving your wife makes your prayers answered (Cf. 1 Pet3:7)
PRACTICAL ASPECTS OF CHRISTIAN MARRIAGE
1. Some very important words in ideal marriage
a. I love you
b. Thank you
c. I am sorry
d. I forgive you (Eph 4:26-27)
2. Cleave to your spouse (Mrk. 10:7)
Value your marriage relationship above every other relationship
3. Marriage is a teamwork and hard work. In working together, learn to ignore certain things.
4. Trust is very important and don’t take your spouse for granted. The trust of your spouse must not be betrayed. Trust once betrayed is difficult to rebuild.
5. Choose your words carefully. Words released can never be retrieved (Cf. Jm 3:3-12). In words, choose the tone of your words (Prov 15:1).
Eph. 5:33 A man must love his wife. In marriage, always keep your marriage issues to yourselves as a couple. If you must seek advice, get a mentor, usually a godly older couple with a marriage set as a model. Do not go to your family, divorsees or unmarried people. You might be misled by their counsel as emotions will be attached.
SOME OF THE QUESTIONS ASKED AND ANSWERED
1.Q: A man who has a foresight about a business investment that can benefit the family, but there’s a history of the wife not agreeing with such ideas. Should he tell her about it?
Ans: Everything should be shared in the marriage. No secrets should be kept. Rather pray that God will give her same revelation.
2.Q: Is it okay for a man who just had a heated altercation with his wife to deny his wife sex since he is still not emotionally ready.?
Ans. Couples must not deny each other sex as a mans body belongs to his wife, same for the wife. But the woman should ensure to calm the situation as she might not enjoy the special gift. The situation has to be resolved before the communion, as marriage intercourse should be a consent between the two.
3.Q: Does the statement that marriage is for adult refer to age?
Ans: The above statement refers to mental, emotional, spiritual and financial maturity. There is no specific age for marriage.
4.Q: should one hide his/her purse from ones spouse?
Ans: Its okay for couples to have separate accounts. However, it should be known to both couples. In the case of a project they may want to embark upon, its okay for them to have a joint account, and must have conditions that could be met by both parties when assessing the funds with each other’s consent.
Marriage is beautiful